Forever Beyond GoodBye
by ImaBedHeadWriter
Summary: When Sirius Black disappeared a body was never found. It was suspected that he’d died fighting in the war against Voldemort. But Harry knows his godfather is alive, and he’ll do anything to get him back.
1. Default Chapter

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Forever Beyond Good-Bye

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By: ImaBedHeadWriter

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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the other character's involved in J.K Rowling's magically wonderful stories. 

Chapter One: Hope Never Dies

"Harry?" Ron shouted, "Oh damn Harry…you did it again didn't you?"

Ron's eyes turned to Harry who was lying next to the sofa obviously asleep. It had been almost a year now since both Ron and Harry had graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And ever since then Harry's world had gone downhill quite fast. 

Post graduation, Harry and Ron had each joined in fighting the war. The war that separated good from evil, and would without a doubt determine the future of everyone. They had won the war, but at a cost. Many had died, including Sirius Black. Sirius was Harry's godfather, and you may say that most godchildren don't know their godparents well anyway but this case was different. 

Every since the two had met under strange circumstances six years ago they had been literally attached to each other. In fact if you hadn't known the truth you would've thought Sirius was Harry's true father. Majority of the time the two had always gotten along after a true scare the two had gone through. After all it had only been recently during their sixth year back Sirius had been captured by death eaters forcing everyone to believe he was dead. 

But when Sirius came back, Harry had easily overcome the obstacle of thinking his godfather was gone. But now once again when the news came out…Harry refused to believe he was gone. 

"Harry," Ron groaned setting down his briefcase. He knelt down beside his friend. Sure enough the proof once again straight in front of his face, alcohol.

"Oh hey," Harry finally woke up, "I was just taking a nap…"

"On the floor?" Ron questioned before holding up a glass bottle, "Harry what's this? You told me you were going to stop drinking"

"Stop yelling", Harry put his hands over his head, "I only drank a…a little"

"Right", Ron pulled Harry to his feet, "Go take a shower…no matter how drunk you are sober up because we have company tonight"

"Who?" Harry asked stumbling over a pillow he'd earlier thrown on the floor.

Keeping his friend from falling, Ron responded, "Remus…Dumbledore…Fred and George"

"Tell them I'm sick", Harry rubbed his eyes gripping onto the wall.

"I just might do that Harry", Ron nodded watching his friend carefully, "because you are"

Ignoring Ron, Harry after a few tries finally found his room, "Hahah funny Ron, you hid my room again!"

Ron shut his eyes slamming down on the couch. The circumstance he had come home to tonight wasn't exactly something he hadn't encountered before. Harry had his good days where he acted completely normal, but then hours later he could be a totally different person. 

So many times he'd hid the secret for Harry. So many times he'd lied about where Harry really was. And now Harry was stupid enough to be caught in his own act. 

Ron looked up when he heard a knock on the door. He listened to hear Harry was in the shower, so quickly he raced to open the door.

"Hey", Ron smiled seeing his brothers at the door, "Too bad you weren't here under better circumstances"

"It's going to be okay Ron…we'll talk to him", Fred pulled his younger brother into a hug.

"Fred's right…you've pulled him off the ground enough times Ron", George put a hand on Ron's shoulder, "It's someone else's turn"

"Afternoon everyone", Remus Lupin sighed taking advantage of the already open door, "Ginny and Albus should be here soon I'm assuming"

Ron nodded obviously very nervous. Remus gave him a reassuring smile, "Don't worry Ron"

"It's not this so much it's just that…it happened again when I came home a few minutes ago. He's in the shower trying to sober up", Ron bit his lip, "I can't deal with this anymore…he's my best friend and I just want him to be happy again"

Ginny Weasley too stepped around the corner, "Hello everyone. Guess there's no point in asking how everyone's doing…"

"Sorry to be running late", A tired looking Albus Dumbledore finally rounded up the arrivals, "Harry is err…here right?"

"Yeah", Ron nodded, "I'll go see how long he's going to be"

"I'm right here", Harry stepped around the corner, "What's going on? Why is everyone here?"

All eyes turned. But Ron spoke first, "Sit down Harry"

"What's going on?" Harry repeated taking a well needed seat. 

Everyone gathered around, Fred and George sitting on either side of Harry.

"Harry we think you have a problem", Remus who was sitting across from Harry began, "and we all want to help you"

"Problem? I'm fine", Harry shook his head.

"Honestly you know you aren't fine", Ron shook his head, "It's been a while now Harry. He'd want you to pick up the pieces and live again"

"I don't….know what you're talking about", Harry leaned back into the sofa his head feeling as if it were spinning in circles.

"We all miss Sirius", Remus started up, "But there's a difference between the rest of us and you. We've dealt with it…and you haven't"

"Harry you have such a bright future ahead…with Voldemort gone…you finally have a fair shot at life", Fred tried to catch Harry's eye.

"What is this? I don't have to listen to this", Harry jumped up, "I'm leaving"

"It's called an intervention", Ron stared at Harry, "and you're going to hear us out"

"And I suppose your going to make me?" Harry rolled his eyes grabbing his coat, "I'll be back later"

"I'm not going to let you go apparate out of here Harry…god only knows where you'd end up. Probably get yourself arrested", Ron shook his head at Harry.

"Well that's a chance I'll take", Harry shrugged, "Next time you plan such a wild party please don't invite me"

"**Harry**", Remus snapped angrily walking next to the boy, "You walk out now and you better be prepared not to come back. Until your ready to let us help you"

"This how you all feel?" Harry looked around the room, "Well fine then…I'm outta here"

"Remus!" Ron blurted out, "What are you doing?"

"Trust me", Remus mouthed watching Harry open the front door, "He'll be back"

***********

"Oh Sirius…" Harry whispered to himself sitting down on a bench, "Why aren't you here for me?"

He knew deep down he'd just done the dumbest thing he could've. But he couldn't help but be angry. Why couldn't they just understand? Why didn't they care that Sirius was still alive? Harry knew he was. A body had never been found after all.

He looked up when he heard someone sit next to him. 

"Sorry am I interrupting something?" A man only a few years older than Harry asked.

"No", Harry shook his head, "I was just leaving"

Standing up Harry walked down the street. It was a rather cold evening, and he wasn't sure where exactly he was going to go. It'd been at least an hour since he'd ran out of Ron's house, and already he was regretting it. But now that the alcohol was wearing off he was quickly coming to his senses.

He could honestly admit he'd really screwed things up lately. Everything he had, everything he'd worked so hard for had suddenly slipped out of his hands. He hadn't been able to handle it, and had searched Ron for help. And until now, that's where he'd been. 

"Harry?"

Harry froze. He half hoped someone had come out and found him. But to his surprise it wasn't anyone that'd been back at the house. In fact it was someone he hadn't seen in a very long time. Hermione Granger. 

"Hermione?" Harry questioned immediately recognizing the voice, "What are you…what are you doing here? I thought you were gone"

"I'm on holiday for a few weeks", Hermione suddenly frowned, "You're a mess Harry!"

Harry laughed, "Good to see you too"

Hermione studied Harry over, "You're shaking. How long have you been out here? It's freezing!"

"Oh you know me. I love the cold", Harry stared up at the sky, "But tonight…your probably right. I should head home"

"How are you doing?", Hermione grabbed Harry's hand, "When I left…."

Harry pulled away, "It's not going to be how it was before Hermione. I thought I made that clear. It's great that your back but…there's never going to be a you and me again. You chose a different life"

"Harry…when I left. You wouldn't listen. All you heard was what you wanted too", Hermione stared up at Harry, "I guess I just figured after all this time--"

"Three months and not a letter came. I waited everyday Hermione. I wrote you everyday. Surely you got my letters?" Harry shook his head with disapproval, "I have to go"

"Where are you staying?" Hermione gently asked hoping Harry wouldn't mind, "We really need to talk"

"Right now", Harry took a deep breath, "I'm staying at that park bench right over there"

Hermione raised an eyebrow at Harry, "What's going on?"

"I've been kicked out", Harry zipped his coat up further, "Gonna be a long night"

"You can stay---"

"No", Harry half shouted at Hermione, "I'm not staying with _you_"

"You aren't going to make this easy are you?" Hermione sighed, "Well at least let me take you in for the night Harry. I don't like the thought of you out here in the cold"

"I'd rather go crawling back to Ron", Harry bit his lip, "But I guess I'd rather not do that either. Fine"

"Thank you", Hermione sounded relieved, "What's going on with you and Ron anyway?"

"That's really not your business", Harry started walking, "I'll sleep on a couch and I'll be out before you wake up"

Hermione followed Harry, "That's really not necessary. Stay as long as you like"

"If I go back tonight the whole crowd will be there. If I go back tomorrow I can grab my stuff and get out of here", Harry shrugged.

"So that's it huh?" Hermione shook her head with disapproval, "You're just going to run away?"

"Pretty much", Harry nodded a smile on his face, "A little lesson I learned from you"

*************

Harry had fallen asleep the moment he laid down. Hermione could see by only briefly talking to him, there was much pain and suffering going on inside of him. The death of his godfather had pretty much taken Harry along with him. He wasn't living anymore, not freely. He refused to deal with the death and it was dragging him down. 

She set her alarm hoping to beat Harry up the next morning. She also decided to write Ron and give him a heads up. She knew in hear heart even though Harry would be even more furious, the last thing he needed was to be out in the world on his own. 

Even though the next morning her alarm hadn't yet gone off, Hermione heard Harry walking around. It was early morning and with the alcohol on his breath last night, she was surprised he was already awake. 

Climbing out of bed herself Hermione walked into the kitchen. Harry was walking out of the bathroom when she met his glance.

"Thanks again", Harry spoke weakly, "I really appreciate it"

Hermione nodded pouring herself a glass of coffee, "Can I get you anything before you go?"

Harry shook his head, "You've done enough"

Hermione watched Harry walk toward the door. He turned around once to wave goodbye but after that he had quickly scattered.

With quite the headache, Harry made the short walk back to Ron's. It was early and to his liking there were few people out and about yet. 

He dug inside his pocket for his key, but when he got to the door he wouldn't need it. The door was already partially open. 

"Morning Harry", Ron stood on the porch, "Have a nice evening?"

"What are you doing up already?" Harry questioned, "It's four in the morning"

"So I noticed", Ron looked down at his watch, "I could ask you the same, if I didn't already know"

Harry was confused as he asked, "What?"

Ron grabbed the sleeve of Harry's jacket pulling him closer, "Next time you make a plan to do something stupid, don't tell someone who has connections with me"

Harry's mouth dropped open as Ron pulled him inside the house. Remus too was waiting for him inside. 

"Going somewhere are you?" Remus stared at Harry, "Any reason we're not invited?"

Harry swallowed hard. Since Sirius had disappeared or as everyone claimed died, Remus had quickly taken the job as Harry's father. He'd been there when the news came out. He'd been there through many of Harry's outbursts. And he was here now. Only this time it wasn't sympathy on his face or in his voice. This time is was anger.

Feeling uncomfortable as ever Harry couldn't bring himself to look Remus in the eye. He heard Ron shut the door behind him and knew there was no escaping what was coming. 

Staring at the ground Harry hoped to help things, "I'm sorry I ran out last night…I wasn't thinking"

"You're damn right you weren't thinking", Remus snapped his fist clenched in his hand, "Well…are you thinking now?"

Harry nodded.

Seeming to have calmed down a bit Remus took a step toward Harry, "First things first Harry. You're going to stay clear of the alcohol. We'll help you with that alright?"

Again, Harry only nodded.

Remus amazed at Harry's not putting up a fight continued, "Let's sit down. There's something else we need to talk about"

Harry knew what this something would be. And this was something he didn't want to talk about.

He shook his head, "I don't want to talk about it"

"Harry you have to accept it", Remus spoke softly, "I know you're convinced again that Sirius has only disappeared, but it's different this time. Sirius died Harry why won't you accept that?"

"He didn't!" Harry shouted tearfully, "He isn't!"

"HARRY", Remus put his hands on Harry's shoulders, "Don't make this any harder than it is"

Harry shut his eyes briefly, "I know you don't believe me but…he is. I can feel it!"

Remus buried his head in his hands. Ron could see he was quickly losing patience. That was one thing Sirius had always had with Harry. Even when he knew Harry was wrong he'd always been patient. 

"I've already lost my father", Harry finally looked Remus in the eye, "I won't loose Sirius too. I refuse!"

This time even Ron felt his heart break. He watched Remus pull Harry into a hug and he too finally could understand why Harry wouldn't let go. Why Harry was trying to hold on to every last hope.

"I'm sorry Harry", Remus felt a tear brush down his face, "I'm so sorry"

Ron stepped forward as Harry finally collapsed to the couch. He was pale, shaking, and had tears rushing down his face. Ron had never seen his friend cry before, not even in the worst situations. He took a seat on one side of Harry, Remus on the other.

"We've been through some tough times", Remus spoke directly to Harry forgetting Ron was even there, "And were going to be going through some even tougher ones. But were all going to be here for you Harry. Every minute of the way"

"Maybe you should try to get some sleep", Ron suggested, "You look like you could use some"

"Can't sleep", Harry shook his head.

"Okay…well are you hungry?" Ron continued.

"Can't eat"

"What do you want to do?" Ron looked over at Remus unsure of what to say.

Harry shrugged; right now all he felt like doing was curling up in a ball and never going outside again. Feelings he'd been holding inside for a long time were finally going through his head and coming out. And although this was a good thing in some ways, it still didn't make the pain go away. 

*****************

**__**

Six Months Later

"HARRY DOWN LIKE NOW"

Harry couldn't help but laugh. He didn't even notice the weather change. As rain poured down his face, Harry flew back down to the ground. 

"We're going in", Oliver Wood rolled his eyes at Harry, "I truly think you'd stay out there no matter what. If Johannon knew we were out here we'd already be dead"

"We're both alive", Harry shrugged as he and Oliver made their into the familiar locker room's surroundings, "Besides if you don't tell I won't tell"

Oliver laughed, "Harry I really am glad you reconsidered joining the team. We all are"

Harry looked up at his teammate with a small smile, "Me too. But I'd better change….I have another meeting"

Oliver gave Harry a curious look, "Harry…your not still going on believing what they tell you are you?"

"Have to try right?" Harry shrugged, "I'll see you later"

"Harry I'm serious!" Oliver gave him a look of concern, "You'll only hurt yourself when nothing happens"

"I'll see you tomorrow", Harry tossed his bag on his shoulder. He knew Oliver was right. Nobody else wanted to go with Harry's theory. He and Remus had many arguments over the subject. But something deep down inside of Harry told him Sirius was alive. 

"Potter. How many times do I have to tell you?"

Harry jumped at hearing the familiar voice behind him. It belonged to Brandon Johannon the captain of Harry's quidditch team.

Harry turned around smiling, "Busted huh?"

Brandon nodded, "I really am serious about this. When you get a day off take it! In fact I don't want to see you here for practice tomorrow. Is that clear?"

"What is that my punishment?" Harry rolled his eyes, "I have to be here…its team practice and we have a game coming up"

"You're my best seeker and I need you rested", Brandon explained to Harry, "If I see you here tomorrow you'll be sitting out next week's game"

"Fine", Harry sighed checking his watch, "I guess I won't see you tomorrow"

Brandon laughed slightly as he walked off saying, "Bye Harry"

***********

"Thanks", Harry nodded at Albus Dumbledore, "Remember…Remus doesn't find out I'm here. Right?"

"Of course Harry if you want it that way", Dumbledore agreed, "Let's just hope your right. The only reason I'm doing this is because of your dream. Your dreams have yet to be incorrect"

"Thanks Professor", Harry stood up remembering one last detail, "So…what do I tell Remus?"

"That you're helping me for the weekend. Because it's somewhat true", Dumbledore looked back up at Harry, "And if you can't convince him…well you'll have to tell him"

"He wouldn't let you", Harry reminded Remus, "I'll do anything to find Sirius"

"It's a perfectly safe procedure. I'm only going to try to locate the dream and examine it for myself. But Harry you have to understand…I might have to see some other things. Are you sure your alright with that?", Dumbledore questioned.

Harry shrugged, "I guess I have to be. I have to get going though…."

"Of course", Dumbledore nodded, "You know the way out. I'll see you tomorrow evening"

Harry nodded a bit uneasily. The truth was he'd only last night had a nightmare. The first one in the longest time. Sirius had been there, and he was alive. He'd rushed to talk to Dumbledore and they'd decided he needed to see it for himself. 

About ten minutes later he finally arrived home. Remus was already there.

"Hey Harry", Remus smiled when Harry entered the room, "I didn't think you had practice today"

"Oh I didn't", Harry admitted, "Oliver and me went anyway…although I got busted. Not allowed to come to practice tomorrow"

Remus laughed, "Well you were warned several times"

"Uh…Remus", Harry asked, "I'm going to be gone for the weekend…I have to go to Hogwarts and help Professor Dumbledore with something"

"You're a big boy you can decide for yourself where you go", Remus looked up at Harry, "Although…I'd rather you told me why"

"Can't tell you. At least not yet", Harry explained biting into an apple, "Although I can tell you I've pretty hungry"

"You'll have to fend for yourself tonight", Remus explained grabbing something off the table, "But this came for you"

Harry looked curiously at the envelope Remus held. The handwriting was easily recognizable to him, but he was pretty sure Remus wouldn't notice. He tore the envelope open reading it silently to himself:

Harry,

We need to talk. Meet be tonight at our usual place around eleven.

Ron

Remus stood waiting for Harry's reaction, "Well who's it from?"

Harry shook his head, "Its just fan mail"

"Seeing as how you get so much of that", Remus asked sarcastically, "Looks like Ron's handwriting to me if I had to guess"

"If I had to guess", Harry repeated in the same way Remus had stated, "I'd say your being nosy"

"Sorry sorry, never meant to cross the line", Remus laughed, "If you could though come back at a decent hour. You know I hate waiting up for you"

"Then why do you is the question?" Harry crumpled Ron's letter up, "You're just to paranoid that I'm going to do something stupid. I'm eighteen years old remember? Now where are you going tonight?"

"Business", Remus sighed, "As usual. But I really do have to get going"

"Bye", Harry spoke through a yawn.

"Maybe you should stay in tonight", Remus grabbed his jacket, "You're looking a little pale today"

"I'll be fine…I just didn't sleep well last night", Harry rubbed his eyes, "but if you have to go then go already"

Remus laughed, "Bye Harry"

Harry waved Remus away, throwing his apple core into the trash he made his way toward his bedroom. He honestly wanted to tell Remus about his dream but he knew that was out of the question. His eyes flashed to a photograph on his nightstand. 

A small tear welled up in the corner of Harry's eye. It'd been so long since he'd last seen his godfather. Each day that passed his heart sunk, there was little hope keeping him going. A hope that he'd kept hidden from most. 

"Harry are you home?"

Harry brushed away the tear hearing the sound of his best friend. Taking a deep breath he walked back toward the kitchen.

"Yeah feel free to take our food Ron", Harry laughed leaning against the wall, "I thought we were meeting--"  


"Oh yeah….well I figured you'd probably just be moping around anyway so I came early", Ron shrugged throwing his findings onto a plate, "But the reason I'm here--"

"That's exactly what I was wounding", Harry took a seat next to Ron.

"Talked to Ginny today", Ron looked up at Harry, "She had something interesting to tell me"

"She didn't--", Harry mouthed silently, "Well she shouldn't have told you anything!"

"Personally I think she wanted me to talk you out of it", Ron grabbed for a napkin, "Because it's pretty stupid. You're getting your hopes up for absolutely nothing. We've gone over this countless times Harry…"

"RON", Harry blurted rather loudly, "Just leave okay?"

"Harry you're acting insane! If Dumbledore is stupid enough to get your hopes up for nothing….it's almost been a year. Three hundred and sixty five days Harry…Harry where are you going?"

Harry gave his friend one last stare before he leaped toward the door, "Anywhere but here"

"Don't be stupid", Ron grabbed Harry's jacket rushing after him, "Harry get back in the house!"

Harry however was furious. He continued walking ignoring Ron's calls from behind him. He turned around once to make sure his friend wasn't following. Harry was relieved that he hadn't. The rain was still pouring down from the sky, but Harry liked it better that way. It fit with the way he was feeling. 

"Just give me a sign", Harry whispered to himself as he continued to walk down the sidewalk, "Anything to prove to them you're still alive"

****@*********@***

Author's Note: The fate is in your hands! I really loved how the first chapter came out myself. Let me know by reviewing. Reviews are much appreciated and fully read through and considered. Next chapter I'll include my responses to what you may have suggested or asked about. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read chapter one to Forever Beyond Good-Bye!


	2. The Slamming Of Lows

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Forever Beyond Good-Bye

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By: ImaBedHeadWriter

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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the other character's involved in J.K Rowling's magically wonderful stories. 

Chapter Two: The Slamming of Lows

As soon as he awoke the next morning Harry realized he'd just stirred up a lot more trouble than he'd meant to. After all, it had never crossed his mind to not return home the night before. He'd simply been so exhausted that he'd fallen asleep. He'd fallen asleep outside, under the peaceful brightly lit sky. 

He stood to his feet taking a few deep breaths. As much as he hated it, he knew it would be best if he went home and explained what happened. He squinted as he looked off into the distance. Unlike the day before today looked to be a beautiful day. The sun was shinning bright, and Harry hoped his day would be the same way.

He hadn't wondered off far, so he knew nobody had come looking for him. If anyone had even tried they could've easily found him. Although he was now dry, Harry knew without looking he was a mess. Stiff from the way he'd slept, Harry began the short walk back in the direction he'd run from the night before.

As the house came into view, Harry felt himself breathing more heavily with each step he took. It wasn't Remus being upset he ran off that he was worried about, it was the fear that Ron had told Remus his plans for what was now this evening. But as he became nearer to the house, he felt an eerie silence. 

His mind debated the feeling. A bigger half of him told him he was being stupid. This was his home, and anyone inside was apart of his family. But the other half reminded him of a conversation he'd had with Remus just after the war had ended. Remus had told him it wasn't completely over. Voldemort's followers were still alive. Hidden, but alive. And when given the chance, Harry would be their number one target. 

He reached inside his pocket for his wand. _Just a precaution_, he reminded himself. Footsteps could be heard in the distance and he quickly tired to place where they came from. His mind froze. The footsteps had come from behind him. 

Harry bit his lip as he slowly turned around. His wand outstretched, Harry's heart jumped at what he saw before him. 

"Harry Potter", Harry heard a recognizable voice, "You didn't think we were gone did you?"

Harry quickly tried to put on a brave face. Dumbledore's words flashed through his mind, _Fear is a weakness that can be spotted from a mile away. _

"How nice of you to visit me Lucius, but next time call first I'm rather busy", Harry tried to ignore the line of death eaters before him, "Have a great day though"

"Crucio!" Harry heard Malfoy yell. But it was too late, Harry had been out of training for months and at this moment it seemed everything he learned had flooded out of his mind.

He screamed with pain as he fell to the floor. Physically he hadn't experienced such pain in months which made it ten times worse.

"HARRY MOVE!"

Harry looked up as he felt another spell take effect on his body. But he didn't have to look to recognize the voice behind him.

"Today's your lucky day Harry Potter", Malfoy seemed to notice the same thing Harry had moments ago heard, "We only come with a warning. You may have killed Lord Voldemort, but it doesn't mean it's over. And if you ever want to see Sirius Black alive again, when the time comes you'll surrender your life"

Harry shut his eyes as he laid his head down on the ground. The death eaters had disappeared. He felt arms grab him and pull him into a sitting position.

"Harry", Remus Lupin kept his hands on Harry's shoulders, "Are you alright?"

"He's just a little shaken up", Arthur Weasley explained, "Let's get him inside"

Harry felt the two men lift him from the ground. His head was pounding. He'd just heard the one thing he'd been waiting months to hear. Sirius was alive. The thought of it being true made the pounding in his head worse.

Harry shook his head as if coming out of a trance. Arthur and Remus both sat on either side of Harry, waiting for him to speak.

Harry said the one thing that came to his mind, "Well…now do you believe me?"

************

Days later, it was no longer Harry acting out of character. Even though they had new hopes of Sirius being alive, they still have no idea where to even begin searching for him. Harry found himself unwelcome at the meetings that had now begun to be held. Nobody wanted him involved. Nobody wanted to further as it seemed, corrupt his mind. And for the first time in about a year, nightmares seemed to again be a regular part of Harry's life. 

"Harry", Remus spoke from the doorway, "Harry wake up your dreaming"

Harry's eyes snapped open. There was fear in his eyes, but a new fear. A fear he'd never felt before.

"I'm fine", Harry turned so he was no longer facing Remus, "I didn't mean to wake you up--"

"I was already up", Remus pointed to the nearest clock, "And you have to get up anyway"

Harry slammed his head back down on his pillow. The last thing he felt like doing that morning was going to quiddich practice. He'd slept maybe thirty minutes that night and quiddich practice at this moment seemed like the biggest chore in the world.

"Alright", Harry whispered softly, "I'll be down in a minute"

Harry willed himself to stand to his feet as he heard Remus shut the door behind him. He knew exactly how worthless he was going to be at practice today, and that didn't make getting up any easier. Eventually he dragged himself downstairs. 

"Boy don't we look awake", Remus handed Harry a glass, "Drink this, it might help"

Harry stretched his arm out grabbing the glass, "Remind me again why you won't make me a sleeping potion?"

"Because its not healthy to take those every night", Remus handed Harry a jacket, "Harry….did you sleep at all?"

"You mean between the nightmares?", Harry accidentally snapped, "Sorry its just…I'm tired and I can't sleep. Why me?"

"I'll let you take a potion when you get home", Remus tried to calm Harry down, "but remember…its only three a week"

A look of relief appeared on Harry's tired face. He waved goodbye to Remus as he set out for another day at work.

*********

"Alright guys that's it for today!", Brandon Johannon looked from one team member to the next. But his eyes were focused on Harry, "Except for you"

Harry took a deep breath as he reluctantly watched the rest of his teammates scatter from the room. He knew the practice had gone exactly as he had planned it too, and now he was going to hear all about it.

"Sit down", Brandon motioned to Harry, "I'm afraid I have some bad news for you Harry"

Harry interrupted before Brandon could speak. "Look I know I wasn't good out there today but…."

Brandon shook his head, "Harry it wasn't just today….you've been lapsing all week. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to play you in Friday's game"

Harry's eyes widened, "But---I know I can do better. I can!"

"I have to do what's best for the team. And I feel what's best for the team right now is for you to take a breather", Brandon tried to gently explain, "Prove me wrong. Prove to me that you deserve to be back in your starting position"

Harry bit his lip as he stood from the bench, "I guess I'd better go then"

"Don't look so down", Brandon patted Harry on the back, "We all have our off weeks"

"Yeah", Harry whispered to himself, "If only my weeks weren't a lifetime"

Harry heard Brandon question what he had said, but Harry ignored him. At the moment he was furious with himself as he stormed into the locker room. He slammed open his locker ignoring the looks from his teammates.

"Everything okay Harry?", Oliver Wood took a seat near Harry's locker.

Harry shrugged half ignoring Oliver. He quickly tossed his things in the bag ready to make a quick exit. But he soon shut his eyes with frustration as he heard a voice behind him.

"Harry?", Oliver grabbed Harry's arm, "What is going on?"

"I can't do this anymore", Harry shook his head, "It's all coming back again….and I can't handle it again. I can't and I won't"

Oliver studied Harry with confusion, "What are you saying? You're quitting the team just because you had an off day? That hardly seems wise….its nothing to be upset about"

"You wouldn't understand", Harry shook his head again, "I shouldn't be here. Do you think Sirius would sit around like this? Waiting for me to come home by some freak chance? No, he'd be out there risking his life to find me. And I should be doing the same"

"Don't be stupid", Oliver shook his head, "That's insane. You don't even know where to look for him"

Harry stared at Oliver for a moment. Thoughts were racing through his head. But finally a look of determination appeared across his face, "Then I guess I'd better start right away"

"Well….", Oliver began, "if your ready to put aside the past…I think we both know someone who would be a great help to you"

Harry's expression again changed, "Don't even think about it! That is the last person I would ask to help me. If Hermione Granger was the last person on earth who could help me I still wouldn't ask her"

Oliver's eyes were now fixed on Harry's. He seemed to be debating whether or not he should tell Harry something. He finally spoke, "What if I told you that same Hermione might know where your godfather is"

***********

After much tossing and turning over the topic, Harry knew exactly what he had to do. He had to suck in his pride and go to the one person he hated the most. He'd rehearsed in his mind dozens of times exactly what he planned on saying. But somehow as he stood on the from porch to Hermione Granger's house, every line slipped out of him mind. 

His mind and his hand again debated whether or not to ring the doorbell. After all, this was Hermione. The same Hermione that that torn his heart to pieces. And as he stood in the doorway his mind flashed back to an evening of what was now so long ago:

*Flash**_back_***

__

"Hermione Granger, will you marry me?", Harry Potter knelt before the women before him. 

Hermione immediately burst to tears, "Harry….oh Harry…"

"Take your time", Harry laughed grabbing onto Hermione's hand, "I'll wait forever for you Hermione" 

"Harry…there's no easy way to say this. I came here tonight with the intentions of telling you…", Hermione Granger swallowed hard, tears pouring down her face, "Harry…I've met someone else"

Harry froze. His face turned pale, and his jaw dropped partially open. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. 

Hermione stepped forward putting her arms around Harry, "I never wanted to hurt you Harry. Never. I didn't know you were going to….going to propose tonight"

Harry pulled away semi regaining his thoughts. Anger had quickly hit. 

"Who", Harry snapped harshly stepping in the opposite direction from Hermione. It was hardly a question, but a command.

Hermione shook her head brushing away tears, "You don't know him…Harry please don't make this any harder…"

A small smile appeared on Harry's face, "Harder? I propose to you, and you tell me you've met another man. And you expect me to take this lightly?"  
  
Harry took a step toward the door. Hermione put a hand on his shoulder. Harry froze, but refused to turn around.

Hermione whispered in his ear, "Don't go Harry….please"

But Harry kept walking. He walked as long and far as he could. When he finally stood in front of his best friend's house he leaned against the doorway. He felt his knees give out as he slid to a sitting position. Tears rushed down his face.

"Harry?"

Harry heard Ron kneel down beside him. Ron knew Harry was going to propose to Hermione that very evening. Seeing Harry on the ground tearfully, came as a surprise.

"Harry what's wrong? Where's Hermione?", Ron forced his friend to look in his direction.

Harry banged his head on the front door, "Hermione finally found someone better than me"

*End Of Flash**_back_***

Harry shook his head running a hand through his hair. This was the last place he wanted to be. It was the same place he'd proposed to Hermione. The same place his life had changed forever.

When he'd finally worked up the courage, Harry rang the doorbell. He held his breath silently wishing Hermione wasn't home. He cursed himself for wishing it, but he couldn't help it. But it wasn't Hermione who appeared in the doorway.

"Can I help you?"

Harry smiled slyly knowing exactly who the man at the door was, "Are you Hermione Granger's husband?"

The man nodded, "Fiance…but can I help you?"

Harry extended his arm, "Harry Potter, Hermione's ex-boyfriend. Is she around?"

This time the head shake when the opposite way, "Not to talk to an ex-boyfriend she isn't"

"Nice accent", Harry nodded at the man in front of him, "Too bad you'll loose it in a few weeks after living here. You must be the American guy Hermione turned me down for huh?"

The man stepped to close the door, "Excuse me but I'm going to have to ask you to leave Larry"

Harry shook his head, "It's Harry. Harry Potter. The boy who saved the world….you may have hear of me"

"Justin? Who's at the door?", Hermione's voice came through the door.

"Some guy…says he's an ex-boyfriend of yours. Names Harry Potter", Justin spoke through the door.

"Harry?", Hermione stepped past the taller man, "Harry what on earth are you doing here?"

"Apparently mingling with your first choice", Harry yawned, "Excuse me but…Oliver sent me"

Hermione nodded seeming to understand, "Come inside then…we should talk"

Harry's eyes widened, "You want me to come in….there? I still have nightmares about this place. You know Justin was it? Well anyway , Justin, this is the exact place that Hermione and me spent a few nights. She's got a nice bed doesn't she?"

Hermione glared at Harry, "Perhaps it would be a good idea to talk somewhere else"

Harry smiled at Hermione, "On second thoughts, I think this will be just fine"

**************

"Nobody has heard anything about or from Sirius since now correct?", Hermione sat on the couch across from Harry a notepad in her hand.

"That would be correct", Harry found his eyes wondering around the room.

"That only confirms my research", Hermione muttered to herself, "Harry what I'm going to tell you…it's going to be a shock to you"

Harry rolled his eyes, "More shocking then what you've done with this place since I was last here? Guess you got tired of looking at pictures of the two of us"

"Harry I need you to listen", Hermione slammed her notepad shut, "This is important"

Harry shrugged, "Right, I'm listening"

"I have reason to believe Sirius is alive", Hermione began, "But there's more…Harry…if everything I've researched is correct. If all my theories are correct…."

"Just spit it out", Harry stared at Hermione.

Hermione paused for a moment, "Harry…your parents are alive"

Harry blinked. It took a moment for his mind to comprehend what Hermione had just told him.

"Is this your idea of some sick joke?", Harry stood to his feet, "Haven't you done enough to me? I should've known not to come here"

"HARRY", Hermione grabbed the back of his shirt, "You're going to listen to me…so just sit back down!"

Harry shook his head furiously stepping back toward the front door, "No. I shouldn't have come here in the first place. You'd think I was the one who hurt you the way you act! Look Hermione, I'll respect the fact that your getting married to Mr. America over there but…I don't ever want to hear you make another sick joke about my parents being alive. You have a heart somewhere in there…for once in your life use it"

"And you!", Hermione shouted, "Have a brain in there…and if you'll only listen to me I can explain myself! You wouldn't listen to me then…and you won't listen to me now"

Harry once again found himself shaking his head in disagreement, "Just take your snotty little attitude and your rich boyfriend and go back to wherever that hell you met him"

"Just get out", Hermione whispered softly, "You say I've changed? Look at yourself Harry…look what your doing to yourself. This isn't you…this isn't the Harry we all love. You've been so wrapped up with trying to find Sirius…that you've lost yourself. Yes, I know I hurt you. Yes, I know I'm the last person you want to hear this from but Harry…find yourself before it's too late"

Hermione's eyes stayed locked on Harry as she watched him angrily storm out of the house. Even after he disappeared, she stared off in the distance for a moment. She'd been so sure using Oliver to get Harry to talk to her would work. But still, she knew exactly what she needed to do now. It was now her turn to do exactly what Harry had just done. It was time to return face to face to the one person who could still save Harry Potter from making the mistake of his life. The question wasn't whether or not she was ready, but whether that person would listen when the time came. 

She stared down at a piece of parchment as she began to write.

__

Dear Christopher:

I'm the last person you want to hear from, this I realize. But I'm not writing about myself. Harry needs you now more then ever. I've spoken with Remus, and I know he tries his hardest but it's not enough. Harry trusts you, and that's why I need your help. We need to talk face to face, and I know since you care for Harry you'll forget about our past. There's only one way to save Sirius, and I'll tell your right now that I know how to save more then just Sirius Black. But this requires Harry's help. Help that Harry isn't willing to give to me. Please write back as soon as possible.

****

Hermione Granger

****@*********@***

****

A message from the creator:

Cool Beans! That all I can really say I guess! I was completely amazed and surprised by the number of reviews I received for my first chapter ever. Now I was probably fortunate because I had AngelDusterBuster spreading the word for me, but she still assured me many of the reviewers weren't hers. Twenty-Four reviews….you peoples sure did pull your end of the bargain! 

The fate was in your hands, and I'm pleased to inform you that I will be continuing this story until it is complete. But as the title states…now that you've reviewed we are all forever beyond goodbye! (Wow was that corny or what?)

I'd also like to thank everyone for supporting AngelDusterBuster even though she isn't able to update. Once she's back, she'll be better then ever. Good things come for those who wait! (Another cornball statement).

When I was writing this chapter, Kelly's new song Low was in my head. Dunno if that affected my writing or not but…I was almost temped to stick some lyrics in. Instead I'll post some here:

Everybody's talking  
But they don't say a thing  
They look at me with sad eyes  
But I don't want the sympathy  
Its cool you didn't want me  
Sometimes you can't go back  
Buy why'd you have to go and make a mess like that  
Well I just have to say  
Before I let go  
  
Have you ever been low?  
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?  
When the truth came out  
Were you the last to know?  
Were you left out in the cold?  
What you did was low  
  
No I don't need your number  
There's nothing left to say  
Except I never though it'd hurt this much to be sane (?)  
My friends are outside waiting  
I've gotta go

I walk out of this darkness  
With no sense of regret  
And I go with a clear conscience  
We both know that you can't say that

Pretty relevant to Harry's feelings for Hermione eh? Just thought I'd share my thoughts with you. 

Thank you so much for your support through these times. We all need to escape from reality every once in a while, and I hope that when you read my story you can do just that. 

****

Nikki AkA ImaBedHeadWriter

****

*************

Interaction Time:

Sarahpeach- You're good! Of course I had to change it just for you….just kidding! Thank so much for your kind words. It means a lot to me that you and everyone else took the time out of your lives to let me know exactly what you think.

SweetPnut731- Thanks for helping Tina and I with the editing! Neither of us are aces at it as you have learned….oh and since you've already read this by now thanks for editing chapter two as well!

Esperanza- J Thank You! I know everyone, including me probably expected it to be a bomb. It's like oh geeze AngelDusterBuster's trying to be nice to her lil ol friend….

Aimee Breuker- I think the update speed is going to stay about the same…until school gets out in June that is. Right now everything's pretty hectic. My goal was to get this out before April 21st (which would've been a month) so I'm pretty happy to have it out this soon! 

Hi- Hi Hi! Sorry…couldn't resist. I'm really glad that ya enjoyed yourself.

Ascafeniel- An AngelDusterBuster fan! Cool beans! I know she sent out an email today…if you were on her mailing list you should've got it. I'm pretty sure she described briefly exactly what's happening with her. But I'm glad you liked the chapter!

Harrystwin- Thank You! Boy I'm sure saying that a lot….but I love having to thank people for telling me good things like that!

BexPotter- I suppose I could create some sort of mailing list…if there interest that is. I'll write you down though if that happens! Thank you so much….I try to put my all into it and I'm glad you noticed.

Dani- Hmmm…well now you have to wait for chapter three don't ya? Sorry!

Someone- Thank ya! You're all being so cool about my first chapter…and I love that!

Padfoot- Aww…don't worry Sirius is still alive en kicking somewhere!

Someone Reading- Nice name by the way. And I don't think It'll be Sirius or Remus….at least not just yet. I think they hold to much importance to the books yet. Don't slash? Hahah don't worry about that one, it's not gunna happen.

P.P- Yeah I'm waiting to be yelled at for making Harry seem like a jerk to Hermione. It had to be done…I apologize for the poor guys actions. But thank you so much!

KaceyRat- I'm thinking it's going to be a once a month thing…but hey this was more then once a month so you never know what's going to happen. I don't think Sirius would hold a grudge to anyone for believing he was well…not alive.

An angels reflection- Haha well I hope this helps a bit! 

Kat- Glad to hear….guess that means I better start writing!

Wanna see your name here? And WHO wouldn't? All you have to do is review just like this kind people above have. The more reviews the quicker the update!


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